The One Who Never Sleeps

Ah, the age old question that so many have tried and failed to answer. Now I know this may sound strange, but I actually had a serious conversation with someone about this, so I thought it was about time for some real midnight ramblings, and I’ll attempt to answer the question myself.

What we have to really think about here is what actually is a woodchuck? Is it a beaver? A gopher? Is it even necessarily a type of rodent? If it is in fact a rodent, then at least we know what we’re dealing with and we know it’s a creature with gnawing, nibbling and chewing or “chucking” wood in its nature. If it isn’t, then our views of woodchucks have been wrong for decades!

One Google check later and we have our definition of a woodchuck. Thanks, Wikipedia!

So our sources say that a woodchuck is a groundhog (made famous by the film Groundhog Day). Now we’re onto something. A groundhog is not the same as a beaver and is not typically a wood chucking/nibbling/gnawing creature. Think of them as bigger and furrier squirrels but with less climbing abilities. They’ll go about their lives, hibernate in the winter and generally not chuck wood. That seems to be the end of the question then. However it is the IF that makes this more of a query then it needs to be. If they could perform this act of woodchucking, then it is an open ended question because we have to consider:

• The size of the groundhog
• The size of its teeth
• Its personality (lazy, active, etc)
• How long the groundhog has to chuck the wood
• The chucking wood’s source
• The type of chucking wood
• Etc.

There are endless factors that can come into the equation when trying to figure this out, so why even bother (unless someone can give me the formula). If we leave the question as “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?” then the answer will be simple: None. They can’t.

I apologise for my ramblings, but I often think of odd and random things and I like to think this helps aid in creativity. I’ll be less random next week…maybe.

Ramblin’ Night Owl

I’ve been thinking about some cool things to say about insomnia, which has inspired me to provide a list of my favourite quotes on the matter:

“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep”- W.C. Fields.

-No nonsense, logical solution here. If only it were as simple as that.

“Insomnia is my greatest inspiration”-Jon Stewart.

-Many are often inspired by late night procrastinating, and it’s good to see that funny people can get their material in the late hours.

“Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day”-Friedrich Nietzsche.

-As always, Nietzsche makes me think, but surely he’s saying here that sleep is almost a reward for staying up all day. If that’s the case, then what about the tortured souls that cannot sleep? They will never get their reward so, sleeping is a mean art.

“Dawn:When men of reason go to bed”- Ambrose Bierce.

-Good to hear that insomniacs are reasonable people.

“If a man had as many ideas during the day as he does when he has insomnia, he’d make a fortune”-Griff Niblack.

-If only this were true.

“The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to”- F. Scott Fitzgerald.

-If only this WEREN’T true. Lying in bed willing yourself to sleep, wasting your time is one of the worst experiences ever!!

A few quotes there to make you think, but here’s one that brightened up my day:

Q: “What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?”

A: “Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.”-Groucho Marx

Rambin’ Night Owl

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I seem to have been out of the loop when it comes to music over the last few months. I’ve spent a lot of my time watching films or reading books. However, lack of sleep combined with straining of the eyes has just given me migraines and not let me appreciate what I’ve been reading/watching. Which is why I journeyed back into the world of music again!!

I’ve spent the week lying in bed, resting my eyes and just listening to some tunes. They’ve helped me gain some sense of calm when I’m lying there, the nearest I can get to sleep. Just the other day I was watching a top 40 countdown of the songs around today and I was completely surprised by some of the artists in there. I mean Katy Petty and Timbaland sure, but JEDWARD?! And they were number two in the charts! If they were number two (and face it they are really) then I wondered what had claimed the top spot.

“And another week at number 1 is…Owl City with Fireflies.”

Who was another week at number 1? Owl City? I really was out of the loop. I watched the music video and listened to the song to see what all the hype was about. To be honest , at first I didn’t find the song that special, just a typical synthpop song. However it was the video and the lyrics that made me think. A magical nocturnal world of toys and bedroom items coming to life made me imagine what it would be like if this was real. I thought of all the endless activities that could happen if the world did work like this? Thinking of this I laid back down in bed; letting my imagination run wild worked a lot better then counting sleep.

Ramblin’ Night Owl

No, not dancing zombies, I’m thinking about ghosts.

They’re something that you think aren’t real but at the back of your mind you’re wondering if they do exist. Let me tell you about what I experienced earlier in the week. It was about Two O’ Clock in the morning and I was lying in bed watching a DVD. I’m used to all the creaks and groans of the house so that kind of noise doesn’t bother me. However, on this particular night, I heard a long creak that I’d never heard before (and I’ve heard them all.) I got out of bed and slowly and quietly walked to the door. I gently opened it and peeked through. Looking at the floor, I saw a pair of pale feet walking to the bathroom.

I just had time to scan upwards and see the rest of the legs until they disappeared. Holding my breath, I made my way to the bathroom and opened it. Empty! I ran back into my room, locked the door and spent the rest of the night with the duvet over my head.

Am I crazy? Did I actually see a ghost or is my mind just playing tricks on me? I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who’s had something like this happen to them. Let me know if you’ve ever had it happen to you!

Ramblin’ Night Owl

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